The List

The off season adventures of Sam and Flic

BIG JUGS – NOT A TERM WE’RE OVERLY FAMILIAR WITH

Most normal folks would probably think running up and down muddy hills and through stinky bogs would be enough mullering for their legs in one day. But, let’s face it, we’re not normal.

Cue The List target number 3.

We had thought we were going rock climbing but it ended up that we had booked in for bouldering. While a little upset that we weren’t going to be strapped up like Anastasia Steele in the lamest of so-called raunchy hits 50 Shades, much talk of jugs and holds soon had our innuendo juices flowing.

After signing a form warning us of our potential death, we don rather fetching, yet rather small rubber shoes.

The group learning to boulder today includes two quiet girls (not us), three Chelsea boys who are sure they’ll get ripped if they do this a lot yah, and us (bouldering can be competitive right?).

Chalked up we first have a go at traversing. Easy. We whizz across the wall. Then it’s time to climb. Grey to start. Easy. Then green. Green suddenly gets hard. The holds are smaller and farther apart. And our legs are starting to feel the Hellrunner we’d smashed just a few hours earlier (see Pure Filth).

After struggling with green – but of course getting higher than the others – we have a go at the endurance wall. A 22 step climb. It’s hard. Flic completes it, but it even looks hard for Miss Superstrong, Sam gets almost all the way before losing her grip at 16 and falling only to be caught – ass first – by Flic.

Given the situations we’ve gotten into before – let’s just say one involved a jellyfish sting to the face followed by an awkward conversation about pee – ass-cradling is pretty tame.

Instruction is now officially over. Much like the velodrome, we may have got a little competitive at times but we totally showed them how it was done. Even the falling off.

A few more attempts at the runs that had defeated us, but grumbling tummies, tired legs and burned out guns (peashooters for Sam) told us it was time to call it a night.

The benefits of bouldering for the off season?

It’s all about your legs. All the power to push you up those boulders comes from those big muscle groups. An ideal session for power on the bike and in the run (not so ideal if you’ve already run up and down hills for 10-12 miles).

The session also served to reinforce a mantra that we both live by – don’t try, do. See the hurdle in your way and get round it. And hey, if you fall, someone’s got your back (ass in this case) and you can do it again. And again. And again until you get it done.

Ticking off the List number 3 done.

Bring on number 4.

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